Depression
by I'm-A-Fallen-Angel39
Summary: Will be re-written soon.
1. Chapter 1

The Beginning

Summary: Starts after Korea. After Ian left Amy and Dan in the cave to die and they discovered Alistair was still alive. Amy goes into depression then starts to cut herself. Dan tries to stop her from cutting herself when he finds out in Cairo but soon discovers he can't. Later in China when Dan gets kidnapped he tells Ian about Amy and he stops her from cutting herself by telling him he really cared about her.

Prologue:

Amy's pov:

The pain from Ian leaving me and Dan in a cave to die. The pain from finding out that Alistair was dead. The pain from finding out Alistair was really still alive and it was all a lie all a setup for betrayal. All this family does is betray. I would do anything to make the pain go away. So much pain I just needed an out. I saw a pocket knife on the night stand beside my bed that I had bought for protection incase anyone decided to sneak into my room at night and with this clue hunt you never know.

I picked up the knife and walked into the bathroom. As soon as I got in their I opened the knife and slashed it across my wrist. The pain of my skin being sliced open and my blood pouring down my wrist and of my fingertips onto the floor made me smile because the pain from everyone else's betrayal faded away. I bandaged my arm and cleaned up the mess on the floor before walking out of the bathroom and going to bed and sleeping peacefully for once.

**AN: I know it's short but it is a prologue and while I an writing this I have a bird standing on my head who has very sharp claws digging into my scalp! The real chapters will be longer**


	2. Chapter 2

**Depression: Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: Amy, come here and do the disclaimer!**

**Amy: Hmm let me think about it. . . NO!**

**Me: What? Why not?**

**Amy: Because you made me depressed and cut myself. I don't care if it is only a fan fiction I would never cut myself!**

**Me: You would if it was the only way to get Ian to realize he likes you and stop living in denial.**

**Amy: I would not even if that is true.**

**Ian: I do not live in denial. I know that I like you, love.**

**Amy: Really? If you like me so much why did you leave me in a cave in Korea to die? *Starts to cry.***

**Me: All right before they start to argue anymore I would just like to say Evanescence456 is my awesome beta and I don't own the 39 clues. Now on with the story. **

***Ian comforting Amy in the background.***

Dan's POV:

We had been sitting on a plane on our way to Egypt when I first saw something that looked like a bandage on Amy's wrist for the first time.

"Hey Amy, what's on your wrist?" I had asked her curiously.

"Oh, nothing, I accidently cut myself. It's nothing serious, though, so you don't have to worry. I got it covered," she had replied. I had dropped it, unconcerned.

The next time I saw it was when we were checking into our hotel. I had seen the blood soaking through and it looked like a fresh bandage.

"Amy, are you sure that your wrist is fine? It looks pretty bad and it's bleeding a lot," I had asked in concern.

"I'm sure Dan. It's nothing; I patched it up and we don't have anything to worry about," she had said with a frown on her face. I dropped it reluctantly again, only with concern this time.

Later I discovered what it really was. I figured it out after Bae Oh had trapped us in the box thing.

_Just after Bae had trapped us in the box I noticed Amy looked worried and slightly… scared, maybe? Why she was scared I didn't know because she wasn't panicking about being trapped in a glass box with a limited amount of air._

_"Amy? Are you sure you're okay? You seem scared and anxious."_

_"I'm fine, Dan. I really am, trust me," she replied._

_I shook my head and said, "You know what? I don't believe you; now tell me what's wrong. You've been acting this way since Korea and you don't even seem to feel bad about what happened with the Cobras."_

_She frowned and said a little forcefully, "I'm fine, Dan. It's nothing you need to worry about."_

_"That's not true! And if it is then you won't mind letting me see the cut on your wrist. I know how you felt about Ian and I don't want to believe it but you've given me no choice. Unless you give me good reason to believe you don't I'll tell Nellie that you cut yourself- even if it's not true. Please tell me it's not true, Amy." _

_She frowned at me and sadly sighed. "I'm sorry, Dan, but I can't do that. I really wish that I could but I do cut myself. I have since the night after we were left in the cave. I really wish I didn't but I can't stop. And the thing is, I don't want to stop. It eases the pain of knowing that only two other people in the whole world care about you. Also, it eases the pain of knowing that the person you love tried to kill you more than once. I loved Ian, Dan. Loved. Huh. I still do love him and I don't know why after he tried to kill us. I tried to stop but I couldn't."_

_"Amy… We can't do nothing about this. I'm going to tell Nellie," I told her._

_"Please don't, Dan. If you do she'll realize how screwed up I am and never talk to me again," she pleaded. She looked so scared. I shook my head._

_"She won't do that. She loves us like were her little siblings. Please Amy. let me tell her. She can help you. Please Amy, I'm really worried about you. Please?" I begged her._

"_All right, fine, but I want to be there. If Nellie's going to hate me then I want to be there when she starts to," she replied with a sigh._

_Moments later Nellie came in and freed us from our prison._

…

_"Nellie!" I yelled throughout the hotel room with Amy trailing behind me. Her arms were folded over her chest and she looked more pale than normal._

_We found her in the kitchen fixing something to eat with her ear buds blaring in her ears. No wonder she didn't hear us. I walked up to her and pulled her ear buds out._

_"Hey! I was listening to that!" she protested._

_"Nellie, we need to talk to you. It's really serious," I said._

_"Um, maybe we can talk about this later. Nellie looks really busy, Dan. Come on," Amy said and pulled on my arm._

_"Wait!" Nellie said. "We apparently need to talk about this now. And besides now I'm curious. So spill, you two."_

_"Uh, how do I say this? Nellie, we need your advice. Well, Amy," I told her while Amy looked like she had just seen a ghost._

_"All right, Amy, what do you need help with?" _

_If it was possible Amy got even paler. Her face was snow-white._

_"Dan, you tell her," Amy said with a shaking voice._

_I sighed then said, "All right. Nellie… yesterday, when we were in Bae Oh's box thing I found out a secret of Amy's. She, well, she. . . God, I don't know how to tell you."_

_"Just spit it out, Dan," Nellie said in an impatient voice as she looked back and forth between us._

_"Yesterday I found out that Amy cuts herself," I told her in a rush. She didn't say anything for a couple minutes, causing Amy's worry to skyrocket._

Come on, Nellie, say something!_ I thought with worry_

_"Amy, could I talk to you alone for a minute?" Nellie asked with concern in her voice._

_"Sure, Nellie," she replied hesitantly._

_I left the room to let them have their conversation._

...

_Nellie's POV_

_As soon as I was sure he wasn't in hearing range I turned the stove off, walked over to Amy, put my hands on her shoulders, and looked her square in the eye._

_"Amy, why and when did you start to cut yourself?" I asked in a stern voice._

_"Um, well, it was the night after we were freed from the cave in Korea, and I guess it was because all the grief in my life finally piled up too much and I just kind of maybe, sort of, lost my mind?" she suggested in a small voice._

_"Yes, but why now? What grief finally caused you to start this?" I continued to question her._

_"Dan, Uncle Alistair, and me being left in the cave because, um, well. . ." she mumbled something that I didn't quite catch._

_"I'm sorry, but I didn't catch that. What did you say?"_

_"I said that the reason why now was because I love Ian and I trusted him and he left us to die. I really shouldn't have expected anything different but, hey, love clouds my better judgment," she said in a sad voice that would break anyone's heart- including the Kabras -and the plain despair in her eyes would make anyone cringe. I felt so bad for her and even worse when I realize that I couldn't even sympathize with her because nothing like this has ever happened to me before._

_"Amy, I know it hurts now but cutting yourself won't help. Believe me, when I was around your age I did the same thing and it wasn't a good thing for me. I took it too far one night and ended up in the hospital for two weeks from blood loss and not eating enough. Trust me, Amy; this isn't the way to go."_

_"Nellie, Ian isn't the only reason I started to cut myself but it was a big factor in the equation. It was also because the day I started to cut myself was the anniversary of the day Dan and my parents died. Then the fact that Grace's funeral was only last week and figuring out that only two other people in the world care about you and ever will were only icing on the top with a lot of other factors that I would love to point out but don't have enough time to do," she said in a monotone voice that would scare anyone including the Kabras._

_"Amy, look at me. I'm sorry that you've had such a tough life and there's nothing I can do to fix that. But please don't do this. I think of you as the little sister that I never had," I told her in a pleading voice. She shook her head._

_"I'm sorry, Nellie, I can't do that… but I will offer you a deal," she replied in that same monotone. I hope she doesn't speak like that all the time 'cause it's creeping me out._

_"What kind of deal?" I asked hesitantly._

_"You and Dan don't say anything to the other clue hunters or anyone else and I'll tone down my cutting and I'll act like I usually did before Korea. Deal?" she asked while I stood there shocked that she would come up with a deal like. If I agreed to this then I couldn't tell Mr. McIntyre and I didn't know what he would do if he found out that I was keeping secrets that involved Amy's well-being from him._

_I frowned than said, "Let me talk to Dan about it and see what he thinks."_

_She smiled brightly at me like her old self would. I felt a pang in my chest. I turned around and went off to find Dan._

…

_"Dan, I talked to Amy," I informed him as I walked into the room he was waiting in._

_"What did she say?" he asked eagerly with a hopeful smile on his face._

_I bit my lip and brought my eyebrows together. Really, I didn't want to tell him but I took a deep breath anyway and said, "She proposed a deal. She said if we didn't tell the other clue hunters about her cutting problem and what caused it she would cut herself less and act like she did before Korea."_

_"Well that's not better than I had hoped for but it's better than nothing," he replied, frowning. "So what did you tell her?"_

_"I told her I would talk to you," I replied._

_"Okay, let's go tell Amy we said yes to her 'deal'," he said as he got up and headed to the kitchen where Amy still sat._

_"Hey, Amy, we decided. We're okay with your deal seeing as nothing we could say will change your mind, will it?" I asked._

_She smiled, shook her head, and said, "Nope. Hey, and just because I'm depressed and cut myself doesn't mean I'm suicidal so you have nothing to worry about."_

_"Right," Dan said in a hesitant voice with worry on his face._

_"All right. Well, it's ten o-clock so I vote we all go to bed and get a good night's rest," Amy said while smiling at us. She stayed true to her word of acting like we had never even been to Korea. _

_I sighed and then left to go get ready for bed._

**A/N: Hi, my wonderful readers! Sorry it took so long to update but this is on my laptop which I can't carry to school with me every day so I don't get to type on it a lot same with my other stories. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think and if you have any ideas for any of my stories let me know in a review or PM me. I will update at least one of my stories soon. Good-bye!**


	3. AN

**Sorry but this is not an update. This is to let you know that soon I'm going to be rewriting this story. After looking back over this story because of one of my reviews I agreed and decided that this was a little far-fetched. The new version should be up soon.**

**P.S. Please check out my other stories and the poll on my profile.**

**P.P.S. I have summaries up for my stories on my profile you can use any idea's f you want just let me know so I can read them.**

**P.P.P.S. If anyone is interested I have a contest up on my profile- please at least take a look.**


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